Discussion 5

Participate in a class discussion in which you begin by addressing the following issues/questions:

How is effective leadership an emotional process of regulating one's own anxiety?

How is the self differentiated leader equivalent to the emotional immune system of the organization?

How can emotional triangles impact your change efforts?

What does sabotage really indicate?

What are the crucial conversations you need to have to get the results you want?

Why do need a strategy to deal with conversations that have high stakes, strong emotions and differing opinions?

Discuss how using the following crucial conversations process can help you in moving your change strategy forward:

• Get unstuck

• Start with the heart
• Learn to look
• Make it safe
• Master my stories
• STATE my path
• Explore other paths
• Move to action

• What do you need to focus on more significantly in your change strategy - differentiated leadership or crucial conversations? Why?
• Or, If you see that you want to work with both ideas which strategy have chosen to work with first and why?

Please remember the list of questions are for your benefit and are intended to help you focus your thinking. We are not asking nor expect you to answer each question in your discussion--rather you should use these questions to help focus on how the insights gained through this discussion will help you to add another component to your innovation plan.

My school has had a lot of changes in the last several years.  We usually don’t keep a principal
very long until this one. The “powers that be” are always adding and taking away things, new
programs, “must haves” etc.  People are not a fan of starting new things because they know it
probably won’t stick around long. The upper grades are very overwhelmed with all they have to
do to prepare for the STAAR.  I am glad that I am not in their shoes. Everyone wants to do what
is best for the kids, but go about it in a different way.

When people have mutual respect we can have a great conversations.  There are four stages in
the book.First, see/hear - we need to get the facts, tell story (in our own head).  Sometimes we carry around stories that are not true. We have to change the stories we tell ourselves and retrace your steps.  We have to take control of the stories. Next is feel, which is to get in touch with the emotions. Then, act which is notice the behaviors.  We need to share our opinion, not try to disguise it as a fact. We also need to encourage other to share their information, even if we might disagree with them.  When talking to the other teachers, I will make them feel valued and respect their thoughts and feelings in the process. I will need a plan of action for these conversations so things don’t get out of control or side-tracked.  Sabotage indicates a good leader according to the book.

Having conversations with other teachers can be tricky.  I don’t want to overload anyone with
something new, but I do want to share what I have learned and try to get others on board.  I
have to stay focused and ignore the whirlwind around me. “Don’t get triangled” as they said
in the video.  My grandma used to say, “Misery loves company.”  I try to stay clear of negative
energy. It is not good for my health.  

Patterson, K., Grenny, J., Switzler, A., & McMillan, R. (2012). Crucial conversations: Tools for
talking when the stakes are high. New York: McGraw-Hill.